November is the only month, I have feelings for. And those feelings are sadly on the negative side. The draining color change in the sky in contrast with the saddening yet beautiful death of nature and the distinctive cinematographic mood November is going through hit me badly. However, I would not imagine a year without it, as we all need a dip to appreciate the “yin”.

I experienced many firsts this month, both good and bad. A dear relative, not even aged 40, tragically passed away last weekend. At such times, one feels extra far and separate. As a method actor, I have packed this trauma in my toolbox. And I am well aware how crazy this sounds.

At the same weekend, I completed my first 48Hour film challenge. I built-up a team of ten wonderful people with a director friend of mine. It was a first, we all shared. I co-produced and -wrote the film and acted in it; not to forget to mention that I also designed the poster.

I learned a lot. Let me rephrase this; I learned A LOT!

Some of you know, I used to work as a designer and project manager before jumping into this long-awaited career as an actress. The production is like a cold, mean and reserved teacher whom tells you that you do not need to love every bit of whatever you are learning. Just do the work like a mad tigress and have a glass of wine once things are over. I think I now understand.

The screenwriting process, on the other hand and under such pressure, is the battle of your accumulated many ideas having snacks with your ugly writers’ block. I will certainly go back there again since I need a place to dump all my boxed stories.

Last weekend was fun, stressful and instructive. I had many hats on and now I have a deeper understanding and respect for the craft of filmmaking. Only to manage all those balls I joggled, was a personal fist-pomping moment, I must admit.
Could it be improved? Yes, indeed. However, we learn as we go, right?

Tonight, we will have the Award Ceremony where I will present one of the awards and celebrate the work all the groups have put in to this demanding challenge we shared. I am excited.

Whatever you do, #behumblefirst

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2018: High on Pure, Toxic Love

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Clash of Emotions